It is absolutely amazing how having someone around on a regular basis changes the way I see life.
Damn it, I think I need someone to come home to.
And I kind of think I'm a homebody if there is someone with which to be one.

Can't quite make up my mind, but maybe it is coming with age.
Or maybe it is the nature of my job now, always meeting new people.
But coming home to an empty house doesn't make me feel any better.

Blast.
I'm dependent.
I need people around, and consistent people at that.
I used to hate myself for it.
But now, well, I got used to it. I was a little spoiled.
I've always known because of how deeply disappointed I would feel when someone would change or leave. But I've always fought it. Suppressed it. Willed it away. Separated myself to avoid the disappointment.
But now, well, I guess I like it. Yes, it's exhausting. And yes, people disappoint. They leave. They drive me crrraaazzzy. I get annoyed with them. But when I'm alone, I get annoyed with me too! So maybe that's just something in my heart that needs to be redeemed.

So yea, I'm dependent. There. I said it. Once and for all.
A little Asian left a hole in my heart the size of Canada, but she also made my heart bigger as a whole. More space for those who follow.

"Pain is good. Well, let me rephrase that. Pain can bring good. It is necessary to help us understand and appreciate the good things we have in life- a reminder of the brokenness that is constant in this temporary world. But also an indicator of hope for better things." T. Siu