This weekend is proving an interesting point to me.
We have the southwest Michigan conference of Campus Crusade here and I am running the coffeeshop for them basically at every hour possible minus meals and chapels. It provides me a great deal of time to observe and draw some conclusions.
I had a friend last year make the statement that college is the prolonging of adolescence, that we are not forcing early 20somethings to grow up but rather extending the protective parental bubble for another four years. Now that probably depends on what kind school you attend to what degree that parental bubble is provided. But I am sitting here among state school students, U of M, Michigan State, and such and they don't seem to be acting anymore responsible than I did in college. Possibly even less because after all I am an overachiever and slight control horde.
I also had heard that college is a very selfish period in one's life because you have so little responsibility. And while in it, I didn't disagree with the statement but I had a hard time applying it to myself and my friends. Now watching and having been out of it for a year, I understand so much better.
Talking to me last year at this time and even up through early spring, you would have been hard pressed to keep me from bemoaning graduating. All I wanted was to be back in school with my friends in my lovely close social circle with my wide array of activities. I could not imagine how life could get any better than that and how these individuals all around me called adults would rather be living the life they have than be in school. I dragged my feet; I kicked and screamed. I protested in every emotional way possible. It was not a graceful experience, but it did the trick. I'm glad I got it all out. It was a very productive year of mourning.
Now don't get me wrong, I love learning. I want nothing more than to take classes again and have intellectual conversations with individuals who can challenge me. I love the mentorship that being in a classroom creates between student and professor, especially as an art student. I do crave that kind of discipleship in my field.
BUT I have grieved my losses. While high school was a decent experience (aka not absolutely dreadful), I did not feel the need to grieve leaving there. I was ready for bigger and better things. And while camp was an absolutely wonderful experience so I did grieve every fall, I did not suffer for long because there was college and hope of another year at camp. Therefore, graduating college was the first time that I truly felt that it would be difficult to find something- anything- better. And my life is based on the next bigger and better thing. Essentially in my mind, my life ended last fall.
But now I can look at these folks, these lovely college students, and I can look at my life and I can truly say I am glad where I am and I do not want to go back. That there is always something good to be found, something new to learn, another experience to be had, whether it is experiencing the friendships of people my parents' age or mentoring high school and junior high students. I have no one directly around me that is my own age, in the same station of life and I actually don't mind. It is having time to do anything and everything absolutely random that I should desire and with that, the time to invest in others far more than I ever thought possible. I had friends in college no doubt even though I was insanely busy, but now neither the people here nor myself are constrained by the college schedule. I am free to invest in so many ways.
And I can understand both those statements I mentioned earlier. I would not trade my college experience for anything in the world but I also see how naive it keeps our early20somethings. I understand how everything one does in college is for oneself from the classes to the activities to your job for your money. Even service projects, duties become as much about the social experience as the service. And if students don't want to participate because there isn't enough social experience, then they don't. It is as simple as that.
All of that to say, I get it.
Whatever 'it' is.
