i should be looking for jobs. i should be applying for jobs i've already found.
but it has been about a month. and i always hit a wall about now.
this being my now third job searching time in well less than 12 months, i am well acquainted with the one month hump. it is easy to maintain hope during those first 4 weeks when the world seems to bow at your feet, offering its seemingly endless fruits of the great American economy. possibilities abounded.
hope reigned.

and then there was nothing.
great
black
empty
silence.

God. where are You.
Your Silence creates a roar.
a roar that weakens me.
i know i said i would wait on You this time.
but i am weak and poor.
and my faith reflects such.
hopelessness threatens to drown me.
God. where are You.

my hands are bound.
my soul is weary.
my heart confused.
on You i wait.