Still waiting...

Two days ago after I decided I really am going to quit one of my jobs because well, I just can't do it anymore (2 months of at minimum 60 hr weeks--it works for some people but not this one), I was walking down the streets of Newark with my students, and I had a 'moment'. It took a couple of months for me to have these moments with these students. It's nothing they are aware of. Just a glimpse for me into what I like to call the realness of life, a snapshot of the big picture, a bit of God's view. They are most at peace with life and their surroundings most often when we are walking, moving, creating, playing. That's not to say they are peaceful--but it is in these moments when I can feel myself take a deep breathe and say yes, this is how it should be; this is what I long to give them.
And as I had this particular 'moment' after coming down from the reality of my boss at my other job, I was blessed with a distinct clarity by contradiction. Clarity that I can do kids--I understand them; I reach them; I do it well. That this is where I am supposed to be for right now--not forever, but for now. And most importantly, that I will always desire infinitely more to work and just be with people, specifically children. That a child will always take precedence over anything else in my life.
By contrast, it made me realize that money isn't worth sacrificing my energy I could be spending with them. Money isn't worth having 'the experience' of working in a coffee shop. And money definitely isn't worth my frustrations with my boss and all that that costs my students.
That's not to say that I don't ever want to work in a coffeeshop again--I do. There's something inside of me that still holds onto the hope that I will find one that is actually run well, has good coffee, and isn't entirely wrapped up in pushing profit.
But this one isn't it.
And its costing me too much.
So I'm still waiting. Still waiting to find the job that I can truly take ownership in. Still waiting to have a stable financially viable income. Still waiting for the pieces to fall into place.