i need to confess . . .

i am not invincible-

but that doesn't stop me from wanting to be.

walls sky high-

a paper thin illusion.

i've been fed a lie.

strength does not make one invincible.

passion does not mean control.

love is not manipulation.

rather-

strength is found in weakness.

passion brings freedom.

love is at its best in vulnerability.

i've tried to pretend that it doesn't matter, but my armor is wearing thin.

i am surrounded, drowning in everyone else's romance.

where is mine?

i'm hanging on the edge-

between invincibility/control/manipulation and

weakness/freedom/vulnerability.

i want what is real/true/great.

i've sworn i wouldn't settle for anything less,

but the pressure is great and i am weary.

oh so weary of fighting the tide of my needs and desires.

my need fights, wages war with my heart--

my need for someone to be there.

i need someone to be there.

i'm tired of being alone.

so tired of being alone-

it has settled like a dull ache in my chest, a thirst never fully satisfied.

just when hope blooms-

it slips away, leaving me to wait with a stronger thirst than before.

i've tasted and i want more, a lifetime supply for i'll never get enough.

will you...?