being forced to sit here for days on end in the same place has forced many things to the surface, but in my walk the one that haunts me the most...
given the stillness/slowness of this year i have chosen,
tis completely unavoidable.
i try. real hard. trust me.
but it's not fun.
when God says to be still, we don't often get beyond the point of the initial peace of the silence b.c the noise of our every day lives is so overwhelming and so addicting.
i like being busy. i like knowing i'm getting things done in a day.
i don't like silence. i don't like stillness. b.c its painful. it makes me question the purpose of my very existence.
i wanted peace from the silence/stillness of this year.
do you know what peace means? wholeness.
and how does one acquire such wholeness?
well it's definitely not on the happy road, let me tell you.
i'm pretty sick of it by now to be quite honest. downright sick of it. can you tell God to stop?
be careful what you pray for...
b.c you will actually get it...
but its never easy nor the way you want it to come.
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