i write ALOT...

...not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

you know how to tell i'm really REALLY bored?
i start cleaning...
and keep cleaning...
and can't stop cleaning...

i spent three hours cleaning a living space of 2 bathrooms, 1 bedroom and living/dining space.
(it's not that big)
that's not saying it didn't need it b.c it most definitely did...but I NEVER clean that much unless i have nothing else to do...
correction: nothing else that i want to do.
i have to write thank you notes for my support letters.
have i ever mentioned how much i HATE thank you notes?
bleh.
blah.
ugh.
*shivers*
all those HORRIBLE experiences as a child having to write thank you notes painfully to relatives you didn't really know or kids who bought you things that you didn't really like.
it's all so fake. but necessary.
as cori said the other day, manners are hardly ever efficient.
and i tend to make things far more difficult for myself than i need to.
for example, i designed the thank you cards myself and ordered them from a company...both a money and time saver in some ways but that day that i spent being harangued by the print company was probably the most outwardly frustrated i've let myself get here. (outwardly :) i hate it when print companies talk down to you. i was working on three things at once...i couldn't focus on it all the time! whatever.
anyways. so i'm sitting here thinking well wouldn't it be nice for my supporters to have a card to put on their fridges..oh but of course that means i have to design something...
and i can never design something like this without making an ordeal out of it. i mean if its gonna represent me then it has to be all the way AWESOME :-P duh.
the things that go on inside my head.

now let's talk about christmas presents...
cori and i just opened ours from our parents while sitting at the front desk at camp.
sidenote: i hardly ever like planned presents like this b.c some part of me always ends up disappointed... b.c it just shows how little a person (namely my parents) understands me or maybe i just have too high expectations. must work on that.
anyways...i did get what i asked for which is what really counts...and a few bonus items as well.
the one stickler....
my mom bought me clothes which she usually knows is a bad idea..but this time i liked what she bought..surprising--VERY surprising.
but guess what size--LARGE
do i look like a large to you?! my gosh. i mean i used to buy mediums b.c i was afraid of wearing things too tight but even now i recognize ok maybe a small in most things fits better.
but a large!? really?
i told erin on facebook and she said and i quote "that gave me a huge belly laugh. if i had been sitting on a dorm couch, i probably would have fallen off of it."
*shaking head*
there are some things i will never understand and my mother's view of my body is definitely one of them.

so i'm going to germany in august to visit SARAH STEINER :) making plans to stop in paris on the way there or back...not sure
all of this with all of the travel fiascos of the last couple of months in the back of my mind. hence why i haven't bought the tickets yet. esp b.c my family will be like you are crazy to do this after your experiences.

i think i've just forgotten that no matter how much i try to make things happen the way they are supposed to/i want them to, they always end up in a completely different "mess".