i think i've hit a wall.

and it's a wall i'm not sure i've hit before.

i am tired of taking in.

i'm tired of tolerating.

i'm tired of 'being nice'.

i'm tired of listening.

i'm tired of bullshit.

i'm tired of being courteous.

i'm tired of giving in to others.

i'm tired of conforming.

i'm tired of holding myself back.

this is who i am.

this is who God is making me to be.

i want to rejoice in that.

i want to be strong in that.

i want to be free.

i AM free.

and i'm tired of tiptoeing around like i'm not.

that means i'm going to offend people.

i'm going to frustrate them.

i'm going to make them mad.

i'm going to annoy them.

but i can't hold it back anymore.

take it or leave it.

that's what it is.

and i'm not sorry for it.

but it's not in a rebellious fashion. just more of a the gloves are off, this is real sort of way. i wanta proclaim truth--about God, about me, about life. i want people to understand where i come from. i want people to get it. something has snapped. i'm tired of the old ways. i've tasted the power that we've been given and i want to do more, i want to use it to the full. i want to live life to the full. because God is. and He has made me who i am and i LIKE me! amen.