Today I stepped out of the train and onto the platform for the first time with a sense of familiarity. A slight chuckle at individuals cramming onto the Path, making the doors open again and again despite the signal to leave. Mind clear to absorb the surroundings. Confidence stronger than fear and uncertainty.
No inner panic on the train.
No cursing traffic or individuals.
No one could touch me.
That is how I'm used to feeling in a city. That is how I felt in Chicago from the moment I stepped foot on its windy streets. Always freedom to enjoy it on my terms; never forced, an endless stream of culture to experience. Chicago and I became fast friends for life. But Newark...
Newark is hard, bitter, and strong; impervious to outsiders. Newark has been forced upon me to love its people and its culture. Newark breaks my heart with every step I take upon its rundown garbage-laden streets. Newark demands my respect.
But today Newark didn't have to demand my respect. Today it was given--not because of what it can give me but because of what I can give it. Today for the first time I felt strong enough to truly give to a place and people where I haven't had much choice. Because one of the most difficult of any task in life is to love and give out lack of choice and instead of real desire. I don't like Newark. Its culture is not one I enjoy. Its people I cannot understand. I have absolutely no desire to adapt any trait of this way of life. I cannot see the good because their world is so broken. I do not judge. I do not condescend. It is fact. The anger and bitterness one must absorb just walking down the street is exhausting. And I thought the brokenness was going to win; that darkness would triumph. But today it didn't.
Today there was light.
And that light was the light of Man.
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