i've got completion lust
for a girl who used to be able to procrastinate with the best of them,
i've got this hankering to barrel through everything in my path.
it's a control thing.
i'm aware.

not quite sure where to put all of this energy.
a lack of direction makes it hard to remember what it is all about.
satisfaction comes in completing little tasks.
efficiency is a drug.
one i'm quite addicted to.

it robs me of my joy in serving,
bursting out in the oddest of circumstances.
it's a shield.
protects me from dealing with the larger dissatisfaction.
or maybe that's a hiding place.