tossed to and fro

I waver like a twig tossed to and fro by every passing breeze. It is not something tragic or exuberant but just a whim-a whim that seems to only further exaggerate how little I know what God wants for my life.
I have dreams, oh so many dreams. I have passions far exceeding what most people will ever experience. I have already encountered in my young 23 years more than what some people will in their entire lives. And I am more acutely aware of all of this than most. My level of contemplation about life, from the very minute details to the overarching themes, consumes more of my thought process than I ever care to admit. It is utterly exhausting. There are many gifts I am blessed with and thus much responsibility which are a constant weight upon my shoulders.
I am independent but love people.
I care deeply for things and yet strive to remain objective.
I am opinionated and yet allow others to hold their opinions.
I am easily affected by others and yet very stubborn in who I am.
I am intensely creative and yet effectively logical.
I am keenly sensitive to others and myself.
I can keep track of everyone else's details better than my own.
I see the potential in most everyone but also realize who they are in the present.
I am a hidden romantic, a pragmatic idealist, a bitter realist.
I am full of constant change, consistently inconsistent, open to many possibilities and yet staunchly conservative about particulars.
I love who I am and yet find it shameful at times.

All of this and I feel no closer to understanding why I am where I am right now. I know where I want to go and I have faith that God will get me there eventually because He's done it many times before. But where I am right now is like a shot in the dark and what I choose to do next seems to be more of a whim than anything else. I can only pray and have faith that the pieces will fall into place.