my parents came to visit this last week and while it was absolute chaos to have them here at camp during my last week of work and while the program office peoples were arriving, they both made a very good point about what i am doing here at camp. at one point my dad said something about how i am doing very well for myself..which to me is a kind of duh b.c well i make the most of every opportunity much to the dismay of many people around me..but something i have lost sight of b.c of how difficult this year has been. AND no matter what, my parents' approval will always be the one thing that i seek out most, whether i fully realize it or not. and while i'm a lot like both of them, i am also very distinctly my own person. that is something i am always going to struggle with understanding b.c well you never really REALLY want to see yourself turn out just like your mom or dad BUT there are some things that i really do want to emulate--which is saying something b.c my respect level for them has not always been very high.
Also both my mom and dad pointed out that it takes a lot of hard work and perserverance to work your way into a place, which i've always known and thought common knowledge until this year. the people i work with don't really think that way, or at least aren't as practiced at thinking that way and its something that has been driven into my brain since well forever. SO it was good to hear that again from them and to understand even better that while my parents have raised me that way, not everybody else has quite gotten that point.
Finally, my dad sent a text message and said it repeatedly throughout the weekend that i am doing a good thing here. its been so damn hard that i never thought about the fact that its good. i've felt ashamed of the work that i do b.c it makes other people uncomfortable or feel guilty. but i am doing something good. huh. who knew?
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