Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, 

we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand,

 and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, 

knowing that suffering produces endurance, 

and endurance produces character, 

and character produces hope, 

and hope does not put us to shame, 

because God's love has been poured into our hearts 

through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5

I'm a recovering pessimist--

much of my life spent attempting to stifle hope and deny disappointment.

My recovery began with a confession,

a leaving behind of the phrases of denial,

I'm just being practical, 

keeping realistic expectations, 

saving myself the disappointment,

I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist.

For the realistic end of pessimism is death and destruction. A world where all things fade away, nothing lasts, and there is no hope. Life at the hands of blind, destructive fate is empty. Yet hope always found a way.

It bubbled up in unexpected places, catching me by surprise, smacking me with disappointment. Disappointment always shows where you've placed your hope. It shows the inevitability of hoping, how it sneaks up behind you as you're trying to stuff it down in front of you. Anything to avoid disappointment, which will always find you if that hope is put in the wrong place.

What about on the shelf with the books that I read? 

Or in my purse with the cash in my wallet? 

Why not on my wall with that degree that I earned?

Or with the (invisible) ring on my finger?

It's gotta go somewhere. Tangible things are the natural way to hope. But hoping in broken circumstances and people leaves you hopeless. It requires lowering, and lowering, and lowering your expectations for it always disappoints. It always fails. It never fully satisfies.

The first step to solving a problem is accepting that you have one. 

And I had one, still do. 

But God does not disappoint.